By Ryan Strong
In one of the most stunning events in Hollywood history, the entire plot for Avengers: Endgame has leaked online, leading to enormous repercussions across the globe. Endgame is one of the most widely anticipated film releases in recent memory, culminating eleven years of films in the franchise. Disney, the parent company of Marvel, has always maintained the utmost security regarding plot details; yet, all those careful precautions have been torn asunder by what appears to be the work of a lone leaker at Marvel.
Within hours of the plot being released, CEO of Disney, Robert Iger was facing calls to resign due to his perceived incompetence. “Bob’s an intellectual individual,” commented one high ranking executive at Disney. “At this point, he has to go. His tenure has been transformed from success to disaster.” Kevin Fiege, the executive producer of Marvel, also faced similar calls to resign from his position; within a few hours of the calls, he, unlike the CEO of Disney, had resigned. Fiege’s office refused any requests for comment.
Internal investigations have now been launched against the Russo Brothers, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Mark Ruffalo, and Robert Downey Jr. Witnesses reported that their trailers had been thoroughly searched and staff interrogated in order to find any hints of who may have leaked.
Even more shocking, though, than the leak itself, is the content of the plot of the film. Gone are most of the major characters; not only those who were killed in the snap, but so are most of the characters who survived. Indeed, only Hawkeye, Black Widow, Captain America, and Iron Man are left. Both Hawkeye and Black Widow’s legs have been cut off, and they now live in trash bins in a room with Captain America and Iron Man. All four are waiting for Thanos to arrive, so a climatic chess match between Iron Man and the dastardly villain can ensue. Both Captain America and Iron Man (who is now blind) are constantly bickering. Iron Man further demands why Chris Rogers does not leave him, as they have never been happy together. At one point, Iron Man questions why Captain America does not kill him (allegedly, because Captain America does not know the combination to the refrigerator). Near the end of the play, after an attempt at some romance, Iron Man orders Captain America to leave which he does. Thanos never arrives, and the audience is left feeling that the tragicomedy of their existence for the past 11 years has been laid bare before the world.
Following the resignation of Fiege, Disney was faced with another major headache. This time in the form of a lawsuit by the estate of the legendary, Irish playwright, Samuel Beckett. “This lawsuit has been filed due to the obvious plagiarism on the part of Marvel of Endgame, a play by Beckett. The plot is completely ripped off from Mr. Beckett’s masterpiece, further diluting the power of the play’s literary value by adding it to the slop that is Western popular culture,” Jane O’Connor, the lawyer for the estate, told reporters. The demands of the lawsuit are $1 billion in compensation, along with a request of returning the play to the top search results on Google when the word “Endgame” is typed in.
In order to quench the firestorm that was engulfing the production, both Anthony and Joseph Russo held a press conference. “We both have a great deal of admiration for the work of Samuel Beckett, particularly his play The Importance of Being Earnest. We borrow creative ideas from a variety of sources, and yes, there are similarities between the two plots, but the idea that we completely stole the plot from Endgame is simply false.” This statement was greeted by booing and jeers due to the fact that The Importance of Being Earnest was written by Oscar Wilde, not Beckett. The room became so rowdy that both brothers had to make a hasty exit from the press conference.
Marvel’s troubles are unlikely to be drawing to a close any time soon, as a whole new landslide of lawsuits have just been filed by estates of prominent writers. First, from Leo Tolstoy’s estate, claiming that the character of Natasha Romanov (AKA, Black Widow) is merely a repackaging of the heroine of War and Peace, Natasha Rostov. When the estate was asked for a request to comment, a representative emailed Pudong Press, saying: “The real tragedy here is that Marvel did not even have the creativity to make the name non-Russian in order to obscure the obvious duplication of Natasha Rostov in Natasha Romanov.”
Other literary estates that have since filed suit against Disney include Emily Bronte’s- claiming that the characters of Thor and Loki are based on Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff respectively- and James Joyce’s- who has claimed that in the movie Thor the word “quark” was used without explicit written consent.
In order to protest the movie, the Beckett estate has decided that on the date of Avengers: Endgame’s premiere, it will be hosting a premiere of another run of Beckett’s Waiting for Godot. Kevin Fiege, now unemployed, has agreed to play the role of Vladimir. When asked why they did not premiere Endgame, the estate refused to comment.