I just started a relationship with a girl who seems way out my league. She says she likes me but I still don’t believe she likes me for who I really am. How do I keep her interest while still staying myself?

Fish Out of Water

Dear Fish Out of Water,

Oh boy, a new girlfriend! Speaking from experience (wink wink), the most important things for a healthy relationship are communication and comfort.

If you feel that being in a relationship with her diminishes your own personality, you should 1. Reach out to your significant other and communicate with her; 2. Be confident in yourself! There’s a reason she chose to be in a relationship with you. If you are unsure of the reasons, the best thing to do is to ask her, instead of getting stuck in your own head, overthinking.

Furthermore, I think it’s important to trust your partner in a relationship, or to at least try to build trust. If she tells you that she likes you, but you don’t think she sees you for who you are, tell her that! I know it feels awkward talking about your feelings at first, but it will build a deeper trust between you, because healthy communication always strengthens bonds.

Finally, my advice is to try to be yourself around her, because hiding who you are will not be a solution in the long term. If you really care about her and want to have a healthy, sustainable relationship, you need to show her your true self. If she does not appreciate you for who you really are, perhaps she is not worth your time— no matter how perfect she may seem.

Your friend,
Askolotl