Is cereal a soup?

From: vari

Dear vari,

I know many things, but this question has haunted me for quite some time. Your inquisition has finally pushed me toward enlightenment. 

An old friend once said: “soup is a liquid or a semi-liquid dish, typically made with ingredients like meat, fish, or vegetables cooked in a broth or other liquid base.” 

By that measure, cereal is not a soup—at least not officially. 

However, as a very young amphibian, I used to enjoy my corn flakes in hot, bubbling milk. Fifty seconds in the microwave—high heat—was enough to cook the flakes and slightly denature the milk. Add a few lentils for protein (legumes, if you will), and you’ve got yourself a fine breakfast bisque.

In that sense, yes—cereal can be a soup. But such experiments nearly got me excommunicated from the Kellogian Cult of the Holy Cilk (Cold Milk).

I hope my suffering brings you peace,

Askolotl