After months of investigation, Pudong Press and the Cuddles Intelligence Agency (CIA) have made a breakthrough discovery. Teachers across SASPD share a common weakness: their attachment to their pets. The following are profiles of the 5 furry suspects, containing data from various observational studies, MBTI personality tests, and surveys.

Caution ⚠️ The following photos may contain dangerous levels of adorableness.

Suspect #1. Pancake

Owner: Ms. Peggy

Age: 6 years

Birthday: August 6, 2020

MBTI Personality: Includes SF (Sensing and Feeling)

Hobbies: Being around people

Fun Facts: She likes only 1 type of toy—her fabric crocodile with a squeaky squeak.

Suspect #2. Matilda

Owner: Mr. Jacobson

Age: 17 months

Birthday: August, 2024

MBTI Personality: ENFP “The Campaigner”

Hobbies: Cuddling and stealing socks

Fun Facts: Matilda is a Boston Terrier who dresses like a cow every day.

Suspect #3. Marlo

Owner: Dr. Miller

Age: 7 years

Birthday: June 1, 2018

MBTI Personality: INFJ “The Advocate”

Hobbies: Cuddles, cuddles, hiking, cuddles

Suspect #4. Rocco

Owner: Mr. O’Brien

Age: 3 years

Birthday: November 1, 2022

MBTI Personality: ISTJ (weak preference for introversion, for sensing over intuition, strong preference for thinking, weak preference for judging) “The Logistician”

Hobbies: Patrolling the balcony, chasing the cat

Fun Facts: He’s a rescue dog who loves to ride on our moped

Suspect #5. Gracie

Owner: Ms. Neff

Age: 6 years

Birthday: September 15, 2019

MBTI Personality: INFJ “The Advocate”

Hobbies: Watching cats. Scanning rooftops for squirrels and cats. Chasing birds who land nearby.

Fun Facts: Gracie LOVES when she finds new flowers on her walks. She has two cat friends who like to visit on her walks each day. They are less excited to see her than she is to see them.