How do I get a hot senator of Naboo (Padme) to like me and marry me (I’m 9 and she’s 14 btw) From: Ani Dear Ani, My, my! I can feel your passion — it burns brighter than twin suns over Tatooine. Don’t let anyone dismiss your feelings as “puppy love.” Many great tragedies have begun with less! Now, my years of galactic experience tell me this journey won’t be easy. First, you must pray to the Force for the glimmering locks and piercing blue eyes of my homie Hayden Christensen. Once so blessed, you must train diligently in the … Continue reading Askolotl Answers: Delulu Fantasies

I can feel the senioritis setting in. How do I stay motivated when I’ve already gotten into college? From, Elderly man Dear elderly man, You are not alone in feeling this way. One of the resident senior indentured servant student press staff members can attest to this. Realistically, know that you are only two months, a break, and a handful of assessments away from graduating and beginning a new stage in your life. Simply crossing out the days on your calendar can make that distance more tangible for you and see the light at the end of a (quickly approaching) … Continue reading Askolotl Answers: How do I deal with senioritis?

What can I do if a teacher does something that I think is wrong? (Andrew) Dear Andrew, That’s a tough situation, especially when the person you believe is in the wrong is the person who wields more power. To start off, I don’t think I’m qualified enough to say that I’ve experienced this same thing before, but have definitely had people close to me complain about a teacher who’s actions didn’t quite rub the right way with much of their class. Yet because they were too scared that voicing their criticisms to teachers would either cause the teacher to grade … Continue reading Askolotl Answers: Wrongdoings