She came into my life when I was at my lowest, made me feel whole again. Somewhere along the way, I fell for her. I’m sorry, I love her. I didn’t even get the chance to confess, my actions said it all. And then she left, leaving me more broken than before.The one who fixed me just had to be the one to break me again. how am i supposed to get over her? From: city lights Dear city lights, I hear you. Although amphibians aren’t humans, I hear how much you’re hurting. It’s like she found you when you … Continue reading Askolotl Answers: Getting over a relationship that never was

How do I hide a 60kg chicken in the back of my car From: D4vd Hey D4vd!  Well, as an old askolotl from the deepest floor of the ocean, though I don’t know much about why you would do that, I’ve thought of a great method in your top-secret mission in hiding a 60kg chicken! Follow these steps, and your delicious chicken will be COMPLETELY invisible.  Phase 1: Pre-Transport Packaging  First, DITCH THE EVIDENCE! Those flimsy supermarket bags are a dead giveaway. They rustle and squeak with no pattern. AND they leak, AND they scream “I have something suspicious here!” You … Continue reading Askolotl Answers: Hiding a 60kg chicken

What do u think abt Dulwich? ^^ (asking this as a Dulwich student, I EXPECT A RLLY GOOFY ANSWER HAHAH). Have a nice day, whoever is behind the askotol acc <3 we love u From: Octopus Dear Octopus, Thank you for your question and your blessing. However, there is nothing behind me other than millennia of wisdom and wit. The only reason I am never seen is that I reside at the bottom of the Huangpu River, where I have secret ways of knowing all current events (no pun intended). I swim out only when called upon by curious beings! … Continue reading Askolotl Answers: Opinions on Dulwich?

How do I get a hot senator of Naboo (Padme) to like me and marry me (I’m 9 and she’s 14 btw) From: Ani Dear Ani, My, my! I can feel your passion — it burns brighter than twin suns over Tatooine. Don’t let anyone dismiss your feelings as “puppy love.” Many great tragedies have begun with less! Now, my years of galactic experience tell me this journey won’t be easy. First, you must pray to the Force for the glimmering locks and piercing blue eyes of my homie Hayden Christensen. Once so blessed, you must train diligently in the … Continue reading Askolotl Answers: Delulu Fantasies

I can feel the senioritis setting in. How do I stay motivated when I’ve already gotten into college? From, Elderly man Dear elderly man, You are not alone in feeling this way. One of the resident senior indentured servant student press staff members can attest to this. Realistically, know that you are only two months, a break, and a handful of assessments away from graduating and beginning a new stage in your life. Simply crossing out the days on your calendar can make that distance more tangible for you and see the light at the end of a (quickly approaching) … Continue reading Askolotl Answers: How do I deal with senioritis?